I've always found it easy to take responsibility for what I did, or even take on responsibilities that weren't mine. So many times I found myself on the back burner because I put what I needed aside. It was easy, "I had no choice it had to be done." It was my responsibility even when it wasn't, it was easy.

I was taught to admit to what I didn't do in the same way I was taught to admit to what I did. Some things were sacrifice and some things were limitations, "but I had no choice it was out of my control." I had no problem taking responsibility for what happened, especially when the fault was mine. It was easy.

What I found difficult was accountability, it not only required that I let go of responsibility, but it also challenged my actions and the lack of "choice" that I had, although it never blamed me. In fact, accountability asked me to remove blame entirely. Shit happens the fault is irrelevant. It's not about blaming someone for what happened, but more so to identify what needs to be done and by who.

Though it hasn't been easy, taking more accountability over my life has made a lot of changes in my day to day living. Taking accountability for the position that I find myself in, releasing the guilt and the shame by understanding that I have a choice. Accountability has given me freedom in a sense, now I can do the things I didn't by releasing myself of the obligation of responsibilities that are not mine.

You don't have to accept every invitation that you get. There's power in realizing that everything isn't for you, but there's even more when you realize that you don't even want to go to that shit. You can't be a beacon of love in a place where you no longer fit. I've learned not to question the table, the question is where do I want to sit.

Every invitation is an invite to be aware. Questions of what kind of party it is, and "who all gon be there?" Usually I never really know what to bring, and to be fair, do I go by myself or do I go with a group? What do I wear? Is it expression of self or repression of self? Is it business is it casual, if it isn't life then it's dead air.

In my opinion you should take the invitation that excites you. A chance for growth and for memories, or anything that feeds the life inside you. For me if ain't a hell yes it's a hell no and don't let anyone decide for you, because you have to live with the outcome of that invitation. So be mindful of where they're inviting you.